The mind of the valar

TALK TO THE HEAD .

Engine Shed Records

Steve's Mental Spigot

Tony Romanello

TRB Rocks

Sluggy Freelance

Haven't made a post in forever, but figure that you worthless fucks should know this:

Unless you're some sort of space traveler, you are now closer to a celestial body than you will ever be. In the last 66,000 years our nearest neighbor, Mars, has never been so close. And guess what, it won't be for another couple of thousand years. This is closer than you, your grandchildren, your great-grandchilden or your great-great grandchildren (go ahead & add a few great's on to that) will ever be to another planet. You should be in awe of the fact that no one in our SPECIES has ever seen a planet this close.

If that don't fuck with your head, nothing should.
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Jesus Christ! I've been so fuckin busy & so mindless that I haven't even had time to make a post in weeks, so here I go again.

I just picked up a new pseudo room mate, it seems that this keeps happening. Is it that I'm an idiot or am I just too kind to my friends & shit. Oh well, at least this dude's paying rent in beer, which can never be a bad thing, unless your my liver.

I just finished reworking the TRB's new album cover for the printer. There's a reason that people who have no clue in hell what "specs" are shouldn't do their own art work. Thank all that is unholy that there are those of us who know how to do this shit. I swear, sometime I feel like without me all my friends would be lost. "Hey, fix my car! Dude, fix my art! Morgoth, explain to me why my cat feels the necessity to lick it's own ass!!" To which I can only reply: "No." "OK for beer & a copy of the album. " and "Because it can! If you could, you would too you fudge packin arse munch!"

Bought & watched the Animatrix DVD today. Fuckin Tight!!! I think next time I sit to watch it I'll drop a few hits of A, then it might make more sense. Been playin the hell out of the new BLS album. It is truly a Blessed Hellride!!! It would probably sound even tighter on a hit or 2. What's more, on the 10th there's a new Metallica album coming out. It seems that even though most aspects of my life are going to hell, there are a few perks coming along to make it bearable & keep me from killing myself.

I wish I had some good words of wisdom, or at least something outrageously funny, to offer you dear readers but I do not. So I shall leave you till next time with these simple words, I'm not sure where they came from or in what context they were derived, but I made a note to post them here for ya'll:

"Bitch looked like a black cat with a little red bird in it's mouth!"

I swear it made more sense at the time!

posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, June 04, 2003
Yet another comes to mind with a few minor deviations:

Take a good look, I feel what you see.
Shrouded in black, and all life's debris.
Shot in the back, I live through the day.
Ain't no remorse, I do as I say.

Now that I've seen what's come to pass.
Forget all that's pure, it never lasts.
posted by Morgoth on Friday, May 23, 2003
So now that I know my compatriots are together in an evening reminiscent of the 2nd worst night of my life, I feel abandoned & betrayed only more. Only a few lyrics come to mind among the rush of anger, jealousy & hatred:

My spirit is bent and there's blood on my hands.
The more I'm down, the less I understand.
Once so found, now so lost.
I ask no questions,
It's just one more bridge to cross.

I'd give my left nut to be able to phrase it any better than Zakk does.
posted by Morgoth on Friday, May 23, 2003

Morgoth's Evil Overlord list (part 3)
If ever any fair maiden I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and promptly shoot her in the face.
My five-year-old child advisor will always be asked to decipher every password I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code, it will not be used.
I will not pick up a glowing ancient artifact and shout "Its power is now mine!!!" Instead I will use tongs to put it in a haz-mat container, and bring it to my lab for extensive testing.
I will design my fortress so that it’s hallways have no alcoves or blind spots which intruders can hide behind in a firefight.
When my weakest troops fail to eliminate the hero, I will send out my best troops instead of sending progressively stronger ones.
I will never, under any circumstances, engage an enemy one on one until all my soldiers are dead.
I will not use hostages as bait in a trap. Unless they’ll be used as human shields, there's no point even taking hostages.
I will not hire an evil wizard with a sleazy mustache.
I will not put off any ritual that gives me immortality.
I will not outsource core functions.
All hay that passes through my kingdom will be shipped as tightly packed bales. Any load of loose hay will immediately be set on fire.
All of my weapons will be chambered to fire one more shot than standard weapons. There’s nothing worse than being defeated by a hero with basic math skills.
When I’ve captured the hero & he asks, "before you kill me, can you tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him in the face. Better yet, I'll shoot him then say "No."
All mythical creatures serving as guardians to my fortress will be fitted with goggles to prevent them being poked in the eye with a blunt object.
I will make numerous bogus maps to my fortress and send them out to be entrusted to old, mountain dwelling hermits.

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, May 20, 2003
I've really gotta stop spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave in Bangkok, it's getting me no where but broke & destitute!
posted by Morgoth on Monday, May 19, 2003
Intimidation, degredation, human loss, desecration!
Bury the old game, worship the insane, tomorrow we'll still be here.
Immune to fear, the end is never near, you'll rot in the gears of life.
posted by Morgoth on Friday, May 16, 2003
Respect through fear!!!! Walking tall... beyond the real!

posted by Morgoth on Friday, May 16, 2003
So after seeing Reloaded, and taking into account how fucked up my life is, I'm wondering what version am I? No way I'm beyond a 3.0! But then the question arises, can a persons residual self image be a version, or is that a constant?
posted by Morgoth on Thursday, May 15, 2003
I have to wonder, were munchkins a clerical error on God's part?
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, May 14, 2003
So after seing all my frat brothers this weekend at a party, I'm officially a failure. They're all married, have pimp houses & most have kid's on the way. I don't even have a girlfriend, can barely afford my car payment much less a house & really don't want kids. Not only that but I'm still a drunk while the rest of them are like sober. I guess I just have to work harder... yeah right!
posted by Morgoth on Monday, May 12, 2003
So much blood I'm starting to drown,
Runs from cold to colder.
Time to time the sky's come down,
To help me lose my way.
Tears and lies for answers.
You and open veins,
God knows I'm gone.
Girl I just want you to come on down.
Lord it's a storm and I'm heading to fall,
These sins are mine and I've done wrong, oh babe.
Come on down.

Long Gone Day
Mmmm, who ever said we wash away with the rain

See you all from time to time.
Isn't it so strange how far away we all are now?
Am I the only one who remembers that summer?
Oh, I remember.
Everyday each time the place was saved,
The music that we made,
The wind has carried all of that away.

Long gone day
Mmmm, who ever said we wash away with the rain.

So many tears I'm starting to drown,
The rain in heaven's all come down.
Silver spoons affix the crown.
The luckless ones are broken.
Fears and lies for answers,
You and open flames.
God knows I'm gone.
And I just want you to come on down, hmmm.

Lord it's a storm and I'm heading to fall.
These sins are mine and I've done wrong.
I want you to, oh, I just want you to come on down.

I fear again, like then, I've lost my way,
And shout to God to bring my sunny day!
-Mad Season
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 29, 2003
All of that which I give is not returned. It's as though every thing that I give to my friends is unreciprocated. Unless something changes, I'm gonna take the stance of "you're on your own!" No more trying to help, no more trying to be the one who will always be there for them. FUCK YOU ALL!!! I'VE HAD IT!!!! Why is it that I try to do the right thing, only to have Karma & my friends fuck me over?!?
posted by Morgoth on Monday, April 28, 2003
It's official, the people that write the few blogs that I read have lost their minds. I'm so confused (not that that's hard to do or anything) that I don't know where to even begin.
posted by Morgoth on Monday, April 28, 2003
Oh Hells Jeah!! A Party Tonight!! A party reminiscient of the New Years Party where I ended up pukin in the front yard numerous times! I'm so pumped! If you ain't there you're a sucka punk bitch! I just hope I don't have to yell "you ain't got a ball between ya!" at all them fools!!!
posted by Morgoth on Friday, April 25, 2003
About 2 years ago I realized that there were two constants in my life. Now that one of them has set, I come to depend on another. I fear that I may have broken the bond between them. The others that I have come to depend on seem to have abandoned me & I live in fear that I'm truly, for the first time, all alone in my reality. I feel the breaking point setting in, despite my lack of trying to grasp the one thing that can hold me aloft.
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
I think it's finally time to slow down on the drinking, partying & cavorting. My body is really starting to show the effects, aside from the beer gut. But more importantly, my mind is getting slower & dumber. I spend most evenings reeling in a world of delusions & hallucinations. I go off on nothing, freak out over the littlest things & let the things that should hack me off roll off my back as if nothing happened. I've lost what little control on my life that I had, & despite my most valiant efforts, I can't find it again. It's like I'm caught in the quicksand of life & there's nobody around to give me a stick to pull me out. No that's not right, there are plenty of people around with sticks but rather than pulling me out, their either laughing or beating me mercilessly with them. Something has to change or I'm gonna snap.

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
This has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read. I'm gonna have to try it.
posted by Morgoth on Friday, April 18, 2003
Behind The Cheese Of All Places!!!!
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Greetings, young ones:

My Minister of Evil is doing well under my training, though he still believes in the violent, traceable plan for revenge. I tell him no, too short term. Bruises heal, cars fix, but lives don't. Shock and Awe. Destroy their life.

Remember That.
Your Lord in Evil,
Faith

This is officaially the last time I let someone else post on my blog

posted by Morgoth on Saturday, April 12, 2003
"I'm exactly the guy they put that in for"..."I'm the worst case scenario of Thomas Jefferson's dream."
posted by Morgoth on Saturday, April 12, 2003
Shock & Awe my friends... Shock & Awe!
posted by Morgoth on Saturday, April 12, 2003
So 'ol boy Mike's belching in my ear & I have to wonder "has the missing link appeard in my home?"

My drunken stupor makes me say everything I shouldn't but it seems so necessary.

I hope that this downward spiral can only reverse itself & not drop me further in the hole.
posted by Morgoth on Saturday, April 12, 2003
I feel an assault & battery coming on. I'm so mad I could kill that motherfucker! Anybody wanna help me destroy someone? Not murder just a good old fashion flogging to within an inch of his life!
posted by Morgoth on Friday, April 11, 2003
There is life after substance abuse... It's just not particularly fun.
posted by Morgoth on Thursday, April 10, 2003
I've come to the conclusion that I will never make it anywhere in life simply because I have no drive. After my medication wears off I'm totally useless, so once the work day is through I do nothing.

I've come to the conclusion that the PS2 is a worthless piece of crap because it has a bad drive. For some reason, there is a design flaw that causes it to eat games which makes them do nothing.

I've come to the conclusion that I need a new water pump in order to drive. I have to fill the radiator every morning other wise ther car overheats, so it's unuseable which allows me to do nothing.
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Yesterday was my one year anniversary in my current position, my stepping stone to being the evil overlord. My plans for world domination are right on schedule. I shall exploit this bank & all the access they give me to money to further my grasp on all of you. Wua-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-ha-ha!!!
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, April 02, 2003
So I went to my first Winston Cup NASCAR race this weekend. All I can say is it was FUCKING AWESOME!!!!! The spectacle alone is worth it without the race, but the race made it even better. The traffic getting there sucked! I mean 3 hours to go 5 miles, come on!!! Whoever designed the access to the track should be shot, to say nothing of the 30 cops who were just standing around doing nothing. Couldn't they at least direct traffic or something? God I hate cops, there's not one on the planet that's worth a shit!!!

Anyway the races were great, both the Cup race & the Busch series race had ton's of catutions & great racing. We consumed massive amounts of beer & had an all around great time.

The Strip Club we went to after rocked!!! All I have to say is BYOB & Totally Nude!!! You can figure out the rest, just use your imagination.

I think I need a new liver!
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Everything the Evil Overlord could ever need!!
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, April 01, 2003
I got Winston Cup tickets!!!! I am so hyped it's unreal. It's kind of like I just drank 3 gallons of coffee, did a line & took a whole bottle of mini thins! I'm just about bouncing off the walls!!!
posted by Morgoth on Thursday, March 27, 2003
Sucks to be this guy, a walking, talking, writing & fighting, super absorbent bomb sponge.

I do actually like what he has to say, it's nice to hear a viewpoint that's not Americanized.
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, March 26, 2003
So steve told me that a bunch of ya'll have really liked the overlord list. Well here's the next installment, if you like this, e-mail me with the link at the top of the page & I'll keep adding more.

Morgoth's Evil Overlord list (con't)

I will not order my most highly decorated lieutenant to kill the child destined to overthrow me -- I'll get off my ass and do it myself.
Shooting is in no way, what so ever, too good for my enemies.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is overly complicated, e.g. "Align the Stones of Power on the sacred altar then let the morning light pass through the pendant at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will simply be "Push the button."
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. The ones that work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to risk falure by doing things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
My jail cells will not be furnished with anything reflective or anything that can be unravelled.
I will not wear long, heavy cloaks or capes. While they certainly make a bold fashion statement, they have an annoying tendency to get caught in doors or tripped over during important moments.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other last request.
If my mad scientist/wizard tells me he has almost completed my Superweapon but it still needs more testing, I will wait for him to finish the tests. No one ever conquered the world using a beta version.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my current conversation or entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
Before appointing someone as my trusted lieutenant, I will conduct a thorough background check
I will not turn into a snake or any other creature. It never helps.
I will never say "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose utter some useless one-liner.
I will add dye to the moat. It won't stop anyone from crossing, but even the dumbest of guards should be able to figure out when someone has swam across.
I will hire one hopelessly stupid and goofy lieutenant, and make sure that he is full of worthless info when I send him to capture the hero.
My force-field generators will be located inside the shield.
I will not design my Control Room so that every person has their backs to the door.
If I find out the location of the one item which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to retrieve. Instead I will send them out to seize something entirely random and take out a classified ad in the local paper.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger relative, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow seeking vengeance towards me in my old age.
Whenever plans are drawn up that depend on a time line, I'll set the completion date 3 days after it's scheduled to occur and not worry too much about espionage.

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Why is blogger fuckin my shit up all sots of crazy Yo?
posted by Morgoth on Friday, March 21, 2003
I Think I'm gonna quit my job & go to work for the gov't designing leaflets. They obviously need some serious help.

Those cutting edge flames, the realistic looking jet's attacking, the cool explosions - That's high quality work... NOT! What's worse I'm sure the gov't paid about $20 per leaflet.

And my personal favorite... I wonder if we should tell them that the vehicle in this image is a USMC MLRS!

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Tonight I shall do as the IRA. I will go to war... with my liver!

posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 17, 2003

This has to be one of the funniest cartoons out there on the web.

Get Your War On

posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 17, 2003

I got an envelope in the mail today. It was a letter from T. She explains her side in the nicest of ways (after she ripped into me) & it actually makes me feel better, to an extent. The best part of it is that her note is writen in a card. On the cover is wrapped a piece of ultra II (tracing paper, for all you unlearned in the printing arts) with a quote on it. It says:

The real art of conversation is not to say the right thing in the right place,
but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment
-Dorthy Nevill

It seems to be the perfect statement at the appropriate time, after reading my letter to T below you may understand. Yet I have to wonder, what is to be said of the man who presents everything to you in the moment, whether appropriate or not?
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, March 12, 2003

I figured that if I do ever fulfill my dreams of becoming the Evil Overlord of the world, I'd better have a good list of rules so here is the first instalment.

Morgoth's Evil Overlord list

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

If ever I have the hero at gunpoint, I will make sure to be well beyong his reach so as they can not reach out and slap the gun from my hand.

I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and put two slugs dead in his chest.

I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used as a target for artillery marksmanship.

I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my sorry ass again.

I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.

I will never accept a challenge from the hero.

No matter how much I want revenge, I will never order an underling "Leave him. He's mine!"

My doomsday machine will have a highly-advanced technological device called a capacitor in case someone inconveniently pulls the plug at the last second. (If I have access to REALLY advanced technology, I will include a back-up device known as a battery.)

If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)

I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the third category will only be awarded posthumously.

If I burst into rebel headquarters and find it deserted except for an odd, blinking device, I will not walk up and investigate; I'll run like hell.

If the hero manages to trick me, I will make a note of what they did so that I do not keep falling for the same trick over and over again.

If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and merely glance over my shoulder. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero, I can scan the area behind me, and if anything was heading for me, it will now be heading for him.

If I appoint someone as my consort, I will not subsequently inform her that she is being replaced by a younger, more attractive woman.

I will remember that any vulnerabilities I have are to be revealed strictly on a need-to-know basis. I will also remember that no one needs to know.

When my Legions of Terror park their vehicle to do reconnaissance on foot, they will be instructed to employ “The Club.”

If I ever MUST put a digital timer on my doomsday device, I will buy one free from quantum mechanical anomalies. So many brands on the market keep perfectly good time while you're looking at them, but whenever you turn away for a couple minutes then turn back, you find that the countdown has progressed by only a few seconds.

I will install a fire extinguisher in every room -- three, if the room contains vital equipment or volatile chemicals.

In order to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access and demand that they read mindless ramblings.

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, March 11, 2003

So Kate & I went fishing Saturday at Lake Keystone. We tried as best we could for about an hour and a half to catch something & came up empty handed. After we put away the poles & were kickin' back having a beer while chunkin rocks into the water, we noticed a small fish swimming in the shallows. Having no target except the murky water below, our attention quickly changed to the poor fish & our bombing onslaught began. We pummeled the poor fish with stones ranging in size from "wee little pebbles" to I'm gonna give myself a hernia lifting this." After 5 min of assaulting the fish, he finally went belly up. As we made our way to the shore to claim our prize, a rogue seagull swooped in & took or catch from us. Realizing that an attempt to stone the bird out of the air was an effort in futility, we returned to our beer drinking endeavour.

It just goes to show, you catch more fish with huge rocks than you do with hook, line & sinker.
posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 10, 2003

Any cartoon that animates Glenn Danzig & makes him a major part of a show's plotline must rock!! I have now seen one of the funniest things ever!!!
posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 10, 2003

"I've made better sounds with my assophone!!!" - Zorak
posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 10, 2003

I'm here wit my girl Kate (she say's hi) & she has the mosters funk on her so she must run around half naked!!!! Thank my dear lord that everything we experienced today is acceptable.

I'll tell you later about the whole fish blugenoing/catching inncedent. Let's just say that rocks work better as bait than corn does.
posted by Morgoth on Saturday, March 08, 2003

After trying for an hour and a half to get all the buildup out of the monster, I have finally succeeded in getting all of the funk removed. I feel empowered! I have destroyed (dear God I'm getting old) over 9 years worth of residue! Now I feel that I must strive to out do what I have done over the years. I must double the amount of funk!

It's good to have goals, no matter how odd they are.
posted by Morgoth on Thursday, March 06, 2003

I just love the guys at Williams Street. Without them we wouldn't have such great shows as Space Ghost Coast to Coast, The Brak Show & Aqua Teen Hunger Force
posted by Morgoth on Thursday, March 06, 2003

Here it is my friends, a few tid bits that show how I really feel about my government.

posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, March 05, 2003

My life seams to roll on in the endless figure eight that is infinity.
The loop that consumes the ever conflicting sides of reality,
it seems as though my yen off sets my yang into perpetual insanity.
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, March 04, 2003

As angry & as lonely as I've been in the past week, I've had these lyrics repetitively going through my head:

Killing, raping, bridge burning, forsaken.
Despising, undermining, betraying, slaying.
Give it a hand, ain't life grand?

Normally that wouldn't be a bad thing since those are the things I normally think about, but in my current state I am rather concerned. Since I broke up with this broad I feel like I'm slipping back into a depression I haven't been in for a few years. For the first time since I lost the one true love of my life, I found someone else to fill that empty part of me. Now that she's gone I wonder: What could I have done differently to keep it going? Am I a screw up or is she the one that's insane? What do I have to do to keep a woman around & will I ever find another? I guess all I can do is keep trying to survive day by day & keep reminding myself "Don't Kill Anyone Bal, Don't Kill Anyone!"
posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 03, 2003
"I am Rose from the second circle of Yar!"

posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 03, 2003

So after a long weekend of boozing my brain is officially pickled! I can't see strraight & my left eye has this odd recurring twitch.

We came to the conclusion that there are enough alcoholics in my crew that we could - and most likely should - start our own chapter of AA. And where pray tell did we draw this conclusion? At a catholic wedding of course! I'm going to Hell aren't I??

I've also realized that I need to find a new crew of people to hang out with. The drama that always insues when we get together is really getting old. Jealousy, lust, hate, anger, confussion & numerous other incarnations of evil, which all come forth over the course of about 5 minutes, is really too much for any mortal man to handle. Do I cause any of this? No!! But I am the one stuck sitting the middle of it all trying to help everyone with their insanity! I just want everyone to be as laid back as I am & to let life happen!!!! Dear lord, one of these days I'm gonna snap & end up on top of a bell tower with a high powered snipers rifle picking off people as I hum the Family Fued tune. As least then my life will be predictable.
posted by Morgoth on Monday, March 03, 2003

I'm putting this up before she even reads it. I must be insane... thank God Blogger has an edit feature!

Dearest,

Let me start by saying that I was & still am beginning to fall in love with you. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders & your optimistic view of the world is really encouraging. All I ask is that you read this letter completely, if you stop halfway through you won’t get to see where I’m going with all this. Unfortunately, last night you decided to attack me, which I will not accept & will not meet with pacifism. Instead I will retaliate. If you had let me finish we may have ended this on a friendly note but you decided you wanted to end it badly. I understand I have my problems, I’m only human, but you must realize you have your faults as well.

You are very naïve. The fact that you believe that life is fair only shows that you have lived a very sheltered life. In fact you are the only person I know who believes that way. Do you truly think that people starving in third world countries while the majority of Americans are gluttons & overweight is fair? Is it fair that a man with 4 kids looses his job while a young executive with no one to support but himself keeps getting richer? Once life deals you a few solid blows, I hope you’ll realize that life ain’t fair.

You are very closed minded. You believe only one way & don’t think anyone else could have a valid point. You say I’m always arguing. Did you ever think that I’m just trying to get you to see another way of thinking? Also, you can dish it out but you can’t take it. You try to say that I’m always wrong about things but don’t listen to what I have to say, you hear only what you want to hear. When the tables are turned, you can give your opinion on everything but when it comes the other persons time to talk you shut them off. Case in point, last night you went off on me but when I started to go off on you, you hung up on me.

You need to work on your social skills. You blow everything out of proportion and tear people up. Like the time I called K to gripe at her for telling M what I was getting you for Valentines. You turned something so minor into something a lot bigger than it ever needed to be. Plus, learn to control your rambling. You start talking about one thing & by the time you get to the point you’ve gone through a dozen different stories. Most people really don’t care to hear all that side note B.S. they just want you to finish up already!

RELAX!!! Don’t let every little thing get under your skin. The most miniscule things that really don’t matter in life drive you mad & you dwell on them. If it is worth worrying about, let the person know. You tend to hold things in & pretend you’re OK when you’re not. If you’d just talk about whatever is on your mind it would help every body. As you let some problem dwell in your mind, the other people don’t know what’s going on. It makes you more & more mad, as well as making them more & more confused. Just get it out on the table & fix it!

You’re as immature as the rest of us are. Do you think that hanging up on someone just because you’re not interested in what they have to say is mature? Is that how you resolve all your problems, by avoiding them? A mature person deals with their problems in a timely & efficient manner, they don’t avoid them. Sure we may be a little childish about all sorts of things, but when it comes down to the serious stuff, we’re all over it. A truly enlightened & mature person doesn’t sit around watching trash TV. They read or write or if they’re gonna watch TV, they watch something they can learn from. So if you think I’m immature or a dork for having a web log, Kiss Off! At least I spend my free time doing something creative, not sitting around playing a retarded hand held children’s game. How mature is that?

Don’t you ever rag on my friends again. This is one of the tightest crews you’ll ever meet. We are always there for each other no matter what. We would gladly give our lives for each other. If one is in a fight, we all are; if one is in financial trouble, we all are. We’ve got each others backs no matter what the situation is. You rag on them & you rag on me & next time, you’ll really get to see me angry. And while we’re at it, who do you have for friends? Nikki? Other than that the only people you hang out with are the random people that come in & out of your life as well as your family. These people have been in my life since the 7th grade & they aren’t going anywhere.

I feel like I could go on & on but I know I shouldn’t, this should make you angry enough, but that’s not my intention. I really don’t want this relationship to end on a bad note. The truth is I miss you. I want to spend time with you because as I said earlier, I find myself falling in love with you more than I know I should. Your compassion & optimism make you someone that I really want to get to know more & I think you could help me with so much. You truly are one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. I wish there is someway we can reconcile this difference but until we both change a few things, I don’t think that will happen. I really don’t understand how this came to be. Everything seemed to be going along well, except for the minor little bumps in the road that every young relationship has. I can’t believe that you would let such a miniscule little disagreement over something that has little to no impact on our lives come between us. If that’s the way you want it, fine but if you’d like to work it out, you know where I am.

Luv,
M
posted by Morgoth on Wednesday, February 26, 2003

And yet another (I feel so empowered & evil)

Everything is perfect,
Everything is sick, and that's it!
You can't tell me to stop it,
You can't tell me not to quit, and that's it!

Revolve around yourself,
It's you and no one else,
Hard for me to stay.
Swinging moods that change,
Calmness to deranged,
Unpredictable, unpredictable.

You would see if:
Only... You hadn't taken things out of my hands!
Only... You never wanted to understand

Classing ways to live here,
Compromise for me.
I'm at both ends of the spectrum,
You're somewhere in the between.
I come clean!

Revolve around yourself,
It's you and no one else,
Hard for me to stay.
Swinging moods that change,
Calmness to deranged,
Unpredictable, unpredictable!

You would see if:
Only... You hadn't taken things out of my hands!
Only... You never wanted to understand
Only... You hadn't taken things out of my hands
Only... You never wanted to understand
Only... You hadn't taken things out of my hands
Only... You never wanted to understand

Crucified, terrified, sacrifice, my whole life!
My whole life, my whole life, my whole life!
My whole life!
If only...
I can't contain myself!
I can't contain myself!
I just can't take myself!
-Anthrax

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, February 25, 2003

A song for her (can you tell I'm angst ridden?)

I'm wiping the slate spotless,
I vow this is your final chance,
Almost all but little faith has been thrown out the window ,
I promise to sustain my stance!
You've taken everything from the get go,
And you've given nothing in return,
Your sado-masochism has reached the ninth inning,
Still you're puzzled to see I'm concerned.

Struggling, to come to terms with,
This god-awful life that i live!
Stumbling, but still i try,
To get out from under your grip!

Transparent in critical moments.
You drop me when your hands aren't full.
You call yourself my closest friend,
Then you make yourself invisible.

My simmering blood is rising,
Primed and ready to explode,
Get off your high horse and come to the party,
I'll beat you into overload!
Only through your limited viewpoint,
You think you know how I exist,
Easy to turn my back on the system,
Hard not to be an atheist.

Back in the days when promises were made,
Equality for all.
You go by the word from the man who gives it,
Never expecting a fall.

Struggling, to come to terms with,
This god-awful life that I live.
Stumbling, but still I try,
To get out from under your grip!

Transparent in critical moments.
You drop me when your hands aren't full.
You call yourself my closest friend,
Then you make yourself invisible.

Transparent in cricital moments.
You drop me when your hands aren't full.
You call yourself my closest friend,
Then you make yourself invisible!
Make yourself invisible, make yourself invisible!
Make yourself invisible, make yourself invisible again!

Burn...
I never should've trusted!
I never should've trusted!
I'm sickened and disgusted!
I never should've trusted!
What happened to me?! What happened to me?! What happened to me?! What happened to me?!

Back in the days when promises were made,
Equality for all.
You go by the word from the man who gives it,
Never expecting a fall.

Transparent in critical moments,
You drop me when your hands aren't full.
You call yourself my closest friend,
Then you make yourself invisible!

Transparent in critical moments,
You drop me when your hands aren't full.
You call yourself my closest friend,
Then you make yourself invisible!
-Anthrax

posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, February 25, 2003

So I had a girl up untill last night. Apparently I'm just the devil, which I've never claimed not to be. Unfortunately, the wrong person realized it.
posted by Morgoth on Tuesday, February 25, 2003

So, I'm frozen in basically. It snowed all day yesterday, since in live in the ass end of the U.S. (Oklahoma) they don't have a clue as to how to take care of the roads. What's worse, it's snowing again & it's supposed to snow for the next 2 days!!!! I've got a woman & all I want to do is curl up in front of the fire with her, but I don't think I can get to her house cause the streets in the shitty town I live in haven't even been plowed. If I don't get out of my house soon I'm gonna kill something!!

Anyway, I guess it gives me time to build up Blog content so here's a few cool sites to check out:
Newgrounds - full of cool flash games & movies

Gamespotter - Links to all sorts of time killing game sites

BOk - The tool of World destruction where I'm employed

COMING SOON:
Morgoth's views on everbody's favorite corupt institution - The United States Government

posted by Morgoth on Monday, February 24, 2003

Make his fight on the hill in the early day
Constant chill deep inside
Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey
On the fight, for they are right, yes, by who's to say?
For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know
Suffered wounds test there their pride
Men of five, still alive through the raging glow
Gone insane from the pain that they surely know

For whom the bell tolls
Time marches on
For whom the bell tolls

Take a look to the sky just before you die
It is the last time you will
Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky
Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry
Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery
He hears the silence so loud
Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be
Now they see what will be, blinded eyes to see
-Metallica
posted by Morgoth on Monday, February 24, 2003

Welcome to my blog ya'll. I'll be posting all sorts of ramblings, rantings & ravings that my poor little mind can come up with whenever I can so check back every now & again.

I've got to say thanks to my boy Spigot Steve for helping me get this all figured out. Also, I gotta give a big thanks to the crew of Engine Shed Records for letting me keep this thing on their server. I owe ya'll a booze!
posted by Morgoth on Monday, February 24, 2003