as I'm cleaning out/organizing/trimming down all my worldly posessions, and I wonder why I kept these reminders of how low I was, or how horrible I was or what terrible things I did to myself and to others.
And I guess I know why I kept them, because it's all material, and even when I was at my lowest, most pathetic, most vile points, I can remember thinking "I should save this, I can write about it one day."
But it makes me feel so dirty. So flawed.
But I still can't bear to throw all of it away.
Yet.